Top dollar for bottom of the band; Imagine your [Derived headline]

face=+Bold; Top dollar for bottom of the bandface=-Bold;

Imagine your utter disappointment if you bought a ticket to see Chris Rock do standup, but later learned Big Daddy Graham would be telling the jokes.

That's the kind of letdown that often times strikes those who pay to see bands touring under their original, hit-making names without making it clear the singers who made them famous won't be there.

A few weeks ago an old friend called to see if I was interested in going to Hippiefest at the Mann Center, where a handful of top acts from the 1960's would be performing.

"Badfinger is going to be there," he said, excitedly. "Remember those songs? "Day after Day." "No Matter What." "Baby Blue." "Come and Get It." Let's go! Whaddaya say?"

Like a guy telling a kid Santa Claus doesn't exist, I felt terrible as I burst his nostalgic bubble.

"The guy who sang those songs -- Pete Ham -- committed suicide two months before we graduated high school," I said. "Put on a Badfinger CD instead, have a beer and save your money."

The practice of bands deceiving the public is an epidemic. Unfortunately, many fans don't realize it until they hear somebody other than Burton Cummings singing "American Woman" under a banner identifying the band as The Guess Who.

Music stirs up memories and feelings. It is life's rewind button. You hear a certain song and a distinctive voice, it takes you back. To first loves and lost loves. To high school angst. To wedding days and childhood days.

If Dennis DeYoung's not singing lead on "Babe," it's not Styx. And it's not as if all revamped bands come at a discount. DeYoung hasn't been with Styx since 1999, yet the band charges $60 to hear somebody named Lawrence Gowan sing "Lady."

Before buying a concert ticket today, one has to be become an investigative reporter, googling the internet to find out the current members of a band.

Surprisingly, people still spend a lot of money to see Journey, whose signature voice, Steve Perry, left in 1998. His departure moved the band to go to the drug store of lead singers and purchase a generic Steve Perry, Steve Augeri, who has since left the group.

Their new lead singer? They found him on YouTube.

By the way, two tickets to see Journey will be $160, sir. Will that be cash or charge?

Band deceit has spread like poison ivy -- and with no calamine lotion in sight. Three Dog Night, without lead singer Chuck Negron ("Joy to the World" "Mama Told Me Not To Come" "One" "Eli's Coming" "Easy to be Hard"), is guilty. Foreigner, without the great Lou Gramm ("I Want To Know What Love Is" "Urgent" "Head Games"), is guilty.

When The Beach Boys tour they often do so with one original member. And John Stamos occasionally sits in on drums. What, no Bob Saget on tambourine?

Paying a reasonable price to hear a tribute band, like Almost Fab, a fantastic Beatles cover band that'll play a free concert in Doylestown next month, is fine. But charging top prices to hear knockoffs of the original, like what Journey does, is not the way I want to see my money and common sense go our separate ways.

So buyer beware. The next time you pay to see Chris Rock, you just might be getting Big Daddy.

And there's nothing funny about that.

Phil Gianficaro is a columnist for The Intelligencer. He can be reached at 215-345-3078 or pgianficaro@phillyBurbs.com.